Fictional Attorney of the Month: The King of Hearts

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland tells of a rather silly kingdom. And Alice observes the trial of the Knave of Hearts.

She easily identifies the King of Hearts as the judge "because of his great wig." She watches jurors writing their names in the event they forget them before the end of the trial.

As the trial begins, the judge/king accuses the Knave of Hearts of stealing the queen's tarts. But the King of Hearts has little sense in running a trial.

"Consider your verdict," the King said to the jury.

"Not yet, not yet!" the Rabbit hastily interrupted. "There's a great deal to come before that!"

"Call the first witness," said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, "First witness!"

At one point, the King of Hearts warns the Hatter to give his evidence or face execution on the spot, or that the Hatter must remember evidence or be executed. Certainly an intemperate judge. And then, as judge, he cross-examines a witness on the contents of the tarts, only to complain to the Queen, "Really, my dear, you must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!" And when Alice takes the stand (by now, a giantess), the king cites "Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court," which he claims is the oldest rule in the book, until Alice remarks that it ought to be numbered one if that were the case.

An executive acting as judge? This month's Fictional Attorney of the Month.